Holding a conversation with someone who has ADD

I'm not sure if you have experienced this or not. If you are in a relationship with someone who has ADD, you probably have. It goes something like this:
You might be having a one on one discussion or even an argument with a person. You are clearly outlining your own points and the other person is looking straight at you but you can tell that this person is not really listening to what you are working so hard to relate. This fact is driven even more home when this person blurts out something related to what you were saying 1/2 hour ago. You might now be thinking "how can you be so selfish" "Why do you only think about yourself" and "why don't you care about me or what I am saying"?

What can I do to assure you that this inability to hold a simple conversation has nothing to do with their feelings for you. It has everything to do with how people with ADD are built. We have so many things that we can do better than anyone else but holding a conversation and reading a book are not among our abilities. 

When you are speaking to someone with ADD this is what their mind is doing.
1) Remember, they can't remember so following a full conversation is very difficult if not impossible.  
2) While they look at you intently, they will fixate on a thing you have said that they feel is important.
3) From that point on, everything else you say is not entering their mind because it is very busy trying desperately to remember that last important point and their response. 
This is the desperation that people with ADD experience when involved in a simple conversation. What is peaceful and natural for you is a mad rush of adrenaline as they try to relate in a "normal" manner. 

So how do you relate to someone with ADD? I can think of a few hints that may help. 

• We respond well to bullet points. While you may long for a leisurely conversation, one clear point will usually get through to us. That is why we excel at following orders.
• Write it down. If you give me a note, I can hold it in my hands, consider it, and then respond.
• Medication can help us. ADD medication is basically amphetamines which help our brains connect front to back. This can greatly improve our memory and help us hold a conversation without desperation. 

So there are some thoughts. The truth is: communicating with someone with ADD is tough. It will never be easy but there are habits we can develop that will make it more effective.